I've Been Enlightened by Dr. Brazelton

Dr. T. Berry Brazelton is a world-renowned pediatrician and I got to meet him at a conference where he was being honored.

Dr. Brazelton is a force in pushing many U.S. laws protecting children and families. Examples: the ban on lead gas (kids living near highways got brain damage from inhaling the fumes) and the parental leave act (his research showed the importance of child-parent attachment on development). Today, he is fighting for policy changes to reduce environmental toxins, which is causing the scary rise in autism, among other things.

More than anything, he's just a darn good doctor. He created the Touchpoints model, which helps to anticipate when your kid's going through a developmental spurt, which will create a temporary eating, sleeping or discipline problem. So parents don't beat themselves up wondering what they're doing wrong and instead, can expect each phase to happen and to cope with it. As a result, the child's development is fostered, not hampered, and the family is less conflicted overall.

We just experienced Aaron's worst phase yet. For the past week, Buggy was waking up during the night...screaming bloody murder until I held him. Once, I even crawled into his crib and laid with him from 12-1am till he fell back asleep. During the day, Buggy was clingy and throwing tantrums. Since there were no other symptoms (can't tell you how many times I counted his molars wondering if another was coming in), I finally deduced that it was Aaron's early 18-month spurt and to wait it out, comforting him as much as I could. Sure enough, Aaron is sleeping soundly again and even woke up humming this morning! Whew...

(I wish I knew more about Touchpoints when Aaron temporarily stopped eating at 12 months; it would have saved everyone a LOT of grief.)

Dr. Brazelton calls each phase a "touchpoint" because it's an opportunity for healthcare providers to proactively reach out to the parent and coach them through what's to be expected. He believes this would reduce child abuse (shaken baby syndrome tends to occur during a touchpoint) and empower parents if they know they're not to blame for their child's phase.

What I love most about Dr. Brazelton's approach are his core assumptions: 1) that the parent is the expert on his/her child and 2) that all parents want to do well by their child.

Too many times, parents' anxieties are exploited by the media, marketers and other people trying to profit. Dr. Brazelton's approach is that parents actually don't need baby manuals. After all, each baby shapes the kind of parents we're going to be. So we learn from each other and go by our natural instincts. Isn't that validating?

My favorite Q&A came from someone asking what he and Dr. Joshua Sparrow thought about the "Happiest Baby on the Block" book. Their response: Upper-middle white class dominances insist that kids should always be happy. Instead, parents need to learn to cope with crying. That's what most cultures--and families with multiple kids--do. They also had issue with the title word "Happiest" which promotes competition among parents and is an example of exploiting parental anxieties.

It was an amazing conference for health professionals, sponsored by Vista Del Mar. Many thanks to my cousin Sandy for hosting me!